Old Schoolers Gifts

"When I was your age, we walked three miles through the snow to school, and didn't have laptops on our school supply list."

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

Gen-Next Library

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Between going to school, watching TV and doing my homework, I hardly have any quality time to spend with my doll.

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"

"Get a computer?! Do I look as though I have room in here for a computer?"

'Pre Reunion Jitters' 'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in high school.'

"Actually, I'm sitting here reading a book—just to see if I can still do it."

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."

'Well, on a pencil that rubber thing is called an eraser, not a delete button.'

'I don't know...go ask your computer.'

"I hate everything with a chip in it that isn't chocolate."

'All this talk of ABS's and old style MDP's is causing a lot of stress...The partners don't take kindly to change... He still hasn't recovered from us moving his desk nearer to the door!'

'Dad! Open up to social networking. Stop being so Henry David Thoreau-ish!'

"The good news is that I remember you from high school. Unfortunately, that's also the bad news."

Traditional ale,Traditional Drunk

'You can swipe it as many times as you like, but that's not how a book works.'

'Of course I remember you. Potkins the Peter Pan of the Lower Fourth.'