Old Schoolers Gifts

"When I was your age, we walked three miles through the snow to school, and didn't have laptops on our school supply list."

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

Gen-Next Library

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Between going to school, watching TV and doing my homework, I hardly have any quality time to spend with my doll.

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

How can you read that comic strip Blondie? Its about a kinder, simpler time. It's about ancient history. They do the same material over and over. Exactly. I can count on it. Not like your stupid Pearls and Get fuzzy. Oooh, look how angry and edgy they are. They're sooo clever! Your whole gig is being angry and edgy. Look, I'm setting Candorville on fire.

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"

"Get a computer?! Do I look as though I have room in here for a computer?"

'Pre Reunion Jitters' 'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in high school.'

'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'

"Actually, I'm sitting here reading a book—just to see if I can still do it."

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."

'Well, on a pencil that rubber thing is called an eraser, not a delete button.'

'All this talk of ABS's and old style MDP's is causing a lot of stress...The partners don't take kindly to change... He still hasn't recovered from us moving his desk nearer to the door!'

"I hate everything with a chip in it that isn't chocolate."

'Dad! Open up to social networking. Stop being so Henry David Thoreau-ish!'

'I don't know...go ask your computer.'

'Of course I remember you. Potkins the Peter Pan of the Lower Fourth.'

"The good news is that I remember you from high school. Unfortunately, that's also the bad news."

Traditional ale,Traditional Drunk