Occasional Partygoer Gifts

'My husband will be a little late getting to the office, but he's on his way.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I am so attracted to you right now."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

The devil you know and his plus one

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Masquerade

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Redhead

Carioca

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Christmas sweater alternatives

Cheers

Leo McKern

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

"My compliments to the sommelier."

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"Aperitif?"

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

Down on Bourbon Street...

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

"Are you pleased to see me or is that a vuvuzela down your trousers?"

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

God save the Queen.

'You should have seen me when I was a caterpillar!'

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."