Satirical Partygoer Gifts

"Since we don't do payback dinners, how does eighty bucks sound for the reasonably decent evening I think we've all had?"

Sloaney Pony.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

The devil you know and his plus one

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Peel poker.

Masquerade

Carioca

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Redhead

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Cheers

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Leo McKern

Christmas sweater alternatives

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar

Down on Bourbon Street...

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"My compliments to the sommelier."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"Aperitif?"

'I'm not very good at mingling.'