Oasis Superfan Gifts

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Love.

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

"They'd sold out of #1's."

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

Die-hard soccer moms.

Banana Ballet

Yeah, right, like Superman was the only flavor they had. Ice cream.

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

Soccer Fans.

A man imagines flying as a superhero.

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

"Sure he's still Mr. Right, Beth? Up there in that Bluejays cap?"

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'

"Hmm, that's interesting, but can you ask the voices in your head to zip it till I hear the score?"

Super Bowl Monday

Shy author hiding while signing books.

Last ESPN highlights next 250 miles.

Liam Gallagher

"He can't stop digressing."

"Don’t tell Mommy, but it’s OK to use swear words during the playoffs."

Desert oasis.

Antoine Griezmann

"I'm being punished. My parents are making me watch a movie without a superhero in it."

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."