Nutrition Nihilist Gifts

One-Stop Shopping. Illegal. Immoral. Fattening.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

That's It

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"Management would like you to keep in mind that the latest research indicates that everything on our 'Healthy Menu' is now unhealthy."

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"Hey, why the long faces? C'mon, everybody, LIGHTEN UP!"

'Do you want flies with that?'

Energy Drinks

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

The B1 Vitamin Bomber

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

Dart Training School - "The Right nutrition is vital. I want you on lager and chips until the competition."

'Are you SURE they're a good source of potassium?'

"All these healthy eating edicts and chew twenty times...I'm fed up to where my back teeth used to be!"

'I like the property - but I'm rather worried about the sugar content.'

'These pills are out BEST sellers. I guarantee you'll lose 50 pounds as soon as you pay me.'

Anorexic flora.

"Still fat."

Why we always fail.

"In health news, everything you thought was good for you is now bad for you."

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.