Nutrition Label Skeptic Gifts

"At LAST an ingredient I can UNDERSTAND. 75% pure fat and 25% pure joy!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Gullib-Os

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Too much Omega 3.'

Eureka! This has telemarketing sale of a diet supplement written all over it.

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'Eating several servings of vegetables everyday is very good, as long as they aren't just pizza toppings.'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"Management would like you to keep in mind that the latest research indicates that everything on our 'Healthy Menu' is now unhealthy."

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

Lite Beer.

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"