Nutrition Label Detective Gifts

"I read all package labels for my health. Now my eyes are shot!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Bad for you but to die for

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Critisize your weight.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Diet considerations.'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Attack of the 'health' foods

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"