Nutrition Detectives Gifts

Supermarket aisles in relation to health.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Bad for you but to die for

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Critisize your weight.

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Well, you'd better learn to like them!

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Diet considerations.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'