Dietary Detectives Gifts

Another session of the lunch-hour scientists...

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Try to guess the continent dining...

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Critisize your weight.

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Secretive Weigh In.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Diet considerations.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.