Diet Investigator Gifts

Perscription Diet

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Secretive Weigh In.

Critisize your weight.

All Natural Nothing

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Diet considerations.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."