Diet Researcher Gifts

Center for diet research

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

All Natural Nothing

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Critisize your weight.

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Diet considerations.'

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Attack of the 'health' foods

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."