Diet Experimenter Gifts

'It's the most effective appetite suppressant available,'

New 'Vores

'My wife is on a diet of bananas and coconuts, she hasn't lost any weight but you can sure climb trees!'

' Sorry about that- my doctor put me on a cabbage, egg and beer diet and the side effects just sort of sneak up on me...'

'I'm on a whisky diet... I've lost three days already!'

'I think I'm going to have to hide the bathroom scale from your mother.'

'I'm trying a wine diet: white for breakfast, red for lunch, and sparkling for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

'Just sit down on the floor- We're going to try the Pleistocene diet.'

'I just love fad diets, I'm on three of them right now.'

'The Eat Whatever You Can Grab With Boxing Gloves Diet was working wonders for Bertram'.

"Giving up on diet?"

"So, how's the Mediterranean diet working out?"

"I'm on the 5:2 diet, I drink 5 bottles of cider twice a day."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Nutritional Supplements.