Diet Experimenters Gifts

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

All Natural Nothing

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Have you seen what goes into that stuff?"

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

'When I found iout you are what you eat, well, I'm nuts!'

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Diet Cud