Dietary Experimenter Gifts

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'If you had a tapeworm, would you keep it?'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

'I made it chocolate so it wouldn't show the dirt.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

Nutritional Supplements.

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."