Diet Experimenters T-Shirts

'He started acting like this about a week after beginning fish oil supplements,'

All Natural Nothing

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

Sisyphus Sawyer

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Have you seen what goes into that stuff?"

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

Diet Cud

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'