Nutrition Derider Gifts

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

To do before Saturday...

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Diet considerations.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Heart Disease Menu

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

Friendly bacteria

"Well, then - two apples a day."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

Artificial Isle