Diet Discoverer Gifts

'It's just as I suspected, you've been eating too much junk food,'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Critisize your weight.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Diet considerations.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"