Diet Diver Gifts

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Critisize your weight.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'Diet considerations.'

Dieting Motivation.

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Attack of the 'health' foods

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'