Nutcase Lover Gifts

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Stop and Birch

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

You are what you eat!

Intellectual Property

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"Another slander suit!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'It's a treasure map.'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

Arrogant junior barrister

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

'A nutcracker? Admit it, Fred, you're getting old.'