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The Nuts at Home...

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stop and Birch

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"#notguilty."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

You are what you eat!

Intellectual Property

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"Another slander suit!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

'It's a treasure map.'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Arrogant junior barrister

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'A nutcracker? Admit it, Fred, you're getting old.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."