Nursery Comedians Gifts

Children playing divorcees

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

Children's Nursery

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

Therapy for babies.

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? Was he invested in emerging markets?"

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

Child climbs up alphabet bricks to reach his teddy bear.

Fashion Nursery School

'I'd say you have a water-tight case there, boys.'

'All the kings horses and all the king's men? No, I'm calling my cousin Louie, he owns a restaurant!'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to defend their pail of water."

'We're looking for a place with no high walls.'

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

Children in a Nursery.

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

Wonderland School. Principal. As usual, things are chaotic of the first day of school. Goldilocks has already switched desks twice. Some cafeteria equipment is missing. The dish ran away with the spoon. Cinderella was already looking at the lost and found looking for a shoe. And I just heard about a problem with Humpty Dumpty out on the playground. At least Peter Pan looks relaxed. Of course, he's been going to this school for decades.

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

'We learned in school today that Johnny Appleseed was an environmental activist.'

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

'Just the one, thanks.'

Humpty dumpty, the wall and the banana peel.

Cow History: July 20, 1969

'When the bough broke, how much was the daycare center sued for?'

The little old lady who lived in a shoe looks into a mobile home.

"Now that the children are gone, I'm leasing twenty-seven hundred square feet for immediate occupancy, warehousing several luxury units, and aiming for complete co-op conversion by early September."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a paywall.

"If I'd known my life was going to be like this I'd never have run away with you."