Day-care Comedians Gifts

"We're playing Redistribution of Wealth."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

My brilliant career

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Not here - home!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

Children's Nursery

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

Therapy for babies.

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

"Ok Watson, what have you dreamed up?"

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

Their father would frequently have to barge in and pantomime to his kids that they were not being quiet enough as they pantomimed actual noisy children.

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."