Nursery Humorists Gifts

Children's Nursery

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Are you made of sugar?'

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"Well, that one got away."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

Mother Goose Timeshare

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"I told you not to invite that guy!"