Nursery Humorist Gifts

Early Gurning Centre

"And this is one I got in the nusrsery in '34."

Toilet training for an adult.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Are you made of sugar?'

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Well, that one got away."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'And you're telling me this, why?'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

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