Nurse Novelty Gifts

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Coping with a strong-willed child

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

A Preschool of Fish

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

Elton John

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

Leaking backpack.

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

Child climbs up alphabet bricks to reach his teddy bear.

"Rats! It doesn't work...but why?? Why??!!"

Your Country Needs MOO!

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

'If little girls are made of sugar and spire and everything nice, where does genetics fit into the picture?'

In an operating theatre, a jack-in-the-box jumps our of the patients stomach

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

'We've noticed just about every patient you've tested has elevated blood pressure.'

"Whose turn is it to be the patient?"

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"

Girl who has been bought an oversized chatelaine large household items hanging from it

Fakirs uses a back scratcher.

Cr�che Seige

101 uses of a dead cat: desk spike

Pre-School Child Center - Computer LiterateNon-Computer Literate.