Nursing Novelty Gifts

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

'Cannonball!'

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

Elton John

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

Leaking backpack.

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

Your Country Needs MOO!

"Rats! It doesn't work...but why?? Why??!!"

Marxist Elephant

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

In an operating theatre, a jack-in-the-box jumps our of the patients stomach

'We've noticed just about every patient you've tested has elevated blood pressure.'

"Whose turn is it to be the patient?"

101 uses of a dead cat: desk spike

2020 Panic Room

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

Fakirs uses a back scratcher.

Girl who has been bought an oversized chatelaine large household items hanging from it

Freak Accident Specialist

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"

Turkey tries using a trick t-shirt to avoid being selected for dinner.

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

'This is the jewel in my collection. My invisible man figurine!'

'I thought you said you did ships in bottles.'

'Death doesn't frighten me, but the night nurse does...'

'I never know which side to start on.'

'Good grief-it's Doris'