Nursing Ninja Gifts

'Engorgement's not easy for either of us.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Domestic Superheroes!!

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

Coping with a strong-willed child

Tool Box

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

ACME Balloon Company.

'Simply put.'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"I'm so good at this!"

Gone Bookkeepin'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'Honey, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

"The air bag sensed he was going to sleep. I love technology."

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...