Nunchuck Novice Gifts

'I'm sorry, sir. There's no such thing as user friendly nunchucks.'

"First time pruning?"

Today we learned to count to one.

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

Brad Pitt.

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"Admit it, you're lost!"

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"Triple whammy."

"What's my collar size?"

I think I'd like to make a motion at this time, your honor, but I cut a lot of classes in law school, and I'm not sure if I should make a motion to strike, or compel, or set aside a judgment, or

'I'm sorry Jimmy, but the results of your tests show that you're not allergic to vegetables.'

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

Pandemic Orphans

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

'Let's face it,Edgar.you and mother nature don't have anything in common.'

"Of course he's not our son. You wanted me to change the baby, didn't you?"

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

'You just continue to grow.'

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

If I learn how to write Roman Numerals, will that help me write computer code?

'Hereafter you sew your own buttons on your suits of armor. This is the tenth needle I've ruined tonight.'

"Leo and I know how much you like your Christmas sweater, so we thought we'd make you one ourselves this year."

"Honest dear, those other 39 hens don't mean a thing to me!"

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."