Numeral Novice Gifts

If I learn how to write Roman Numerals, will that help me write computer code?

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"First time pruning?"

The Life of Pi

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Today we learned to count to one.

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

Gloat

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Staff Yearbook

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"Yo, this should be a two."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

Warning: Math Ahead!

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

"Mine's bigger than yours."

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

Reign Man

The United States Public Debt.