Numismatic Novice Gifts

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

"You're on a what?!"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Today we learned to count to one.

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

"We're still working out the numerology for a name."

"This new pound coin looks like a threepence...it feels like a threepence...and it spends like a threepence."

Bad Violinist.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Stuff Broken

COVID-19 dime

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

Zero interest CDs! Why pay taxes?

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

8. VIII. Just because it took four of us to do your job doesn't mean we were slacking off!

The cost of education

$0.13 saved is $0.13 earned. A penny adjusted for inflation from 1737 to today...

If I learn how to write Roman Numerals, will that help me write computer code?

'There's nothing wrong with your cognitive abilities. All investors have short memories.'

"It's a numerology thing... I'm a one and we are a two."

Obvious problem.

'Happy LXI birthday to you, happy LXI birthday...'

'I think we should look into a smaller hammer and bigger nails for your next do-it-yourself project'

'Tell me again. What do we do with pork bellies?'

'No wonder I'm failing math. I'm just no good with numbers. Even when I dialed the math homework helpline, I got the wrong number.'

'I was doing okay in the stock market until I started investing too heavily in liquid assets!'

Passage of the Bland Silver Bill: Columbia Rebukes Uncle Sam