Nuclear Humorist Gifts

"Have you ever had the feeling you forgot to turn something off?"

Nuclear Processing Plant - Welcome to the workforce.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

No-Work Orange

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

Trump! The Musical

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

God Sneezes Out Creation

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Clown God

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.