Radioactive Humorist Gifts

Plutonium in the commodities trading pit.

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

How Glaciations Begin

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

The new Physics

Table Of The Elephants

Evolving/Devolving

'He's majoring in cave hydrology with, obviously, the ultimate aim of being a caveman like his Dad.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Evolution...the dandy lion.

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'