Rod-wielding Humorist Gifts

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. VIII

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

A DIY disaster.

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

A word from James Cameron. . .

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

"I've never trusted cows."

Although a rare sight in the old west, the secluded ice rinks brought out a side of the lone passing-by cowboy, that even they themselves barely knew existed.

"You boys might as well dig in - this could smolder for days."

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

popcorn...

Acme Pest Control

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

'Hold steady, there girl. I need to open my bottle of cider!'

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

'Are you decent'

'Fancy a banana split?'

'There I was, balanced on the wire, juggling balls like crazy when this yo-yo in the crowd hits me in the eye with a peanut.'

'You're cheating on me? How can you be so heartless?!'

"There's that frantic thumping noise again."

'I learned a new word today!'

"Well, well! Looks like someone's not a happy camper! Get it? Happy camper? We're camping? Happy...cam...ahem..."

'I've been here so long I don't remember what I did, but it had something to do with non-compliance.'

'Down a few volts yet Harry!'

"Here's the deal. I'll fly the plane, and you make the excuses."

'It's dreadful being out of work - I just hand around all day, drinking tea and smoking. . .'

Smoke Screen

Redundant Weapon