Nuclear Humorist Pillows

"Have you ever had the feeling you forgot to turn something off?"

Nuclear Processing Plant - Welcome to the workforce.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

They're Not Just That Into It

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Teenagers!'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

No-Work Orange

Trump! The Musical

God Sneezes Out Creation

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

Clown God

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'