Nuclear Satirist Gifts

Nuclear Countdown

"You're fired."

"Nation-building never works."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Flags

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Reagacentennial

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"You're on a what?!"

The International and May Day Terrorism

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

The economy.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"We won!"

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Trump leaving

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."