Novelty Seeking T-Shirts

'If this a present would you like to try our beautiful gift wrap.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Dog Walking Services

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Raincloud Umbrella

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Hobby Store

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Hay Rides $10

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

Mohammad's motors

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"You like long walks in electrical storms too? Wow! We get a charge out of the same things."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

Toenail clipping missile.