Novelty Seeking Gifts

'If this a present would you like to try our beautiful gift wrap.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Dog Walking Services

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Raincloud Umbrella

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

The Hobby Store

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Advocado

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Hay Rides $10

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Mohammad's motors

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.