Note-worthy Newsies Pillows

"Stop the presses!" "Press the stops!"

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

Corporate Greed.

Medieval headlines.

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Scientist seen on loch.

Atty.-Gen. Sessions reveals new law enforcement strategies to deal with opioid epidemic.

Trump returns home

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

Try not to worry.

"D'you have any porn porn?"

Russia had barely got started in Ukraine and "Gas War" against EU

The Remote Olympics

'That damn racial scandal.'

'Here's veteran pundit Edwin Shrock to sound off og whether any other pundits actually know what they're talking about...'

The Latest Shooting...Looking for a Trend.

We can't hear you! We can't see you! We can't hear you!

"This is not good at all!"

Saigon 1975/Kabul 2021 - Deja Voodoo

"So, professor, in a post-industrial robotic universe, what would be the role of politicians?"

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

"How could this happen?"

'Trading was active in rumors, today...'

"So, what was the first word uttered?"

'The trouble is not with your set -- the station just got hit with a new batch of politically correct Federal regulations.'