News Junkies Pillows

"Why can't newspapers run more good-news stories?"

Relax compadres. They don't call it the swine flu no more!

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

This Bus Runs on Punditry

"I find it increasingly difficult to remain man's best friend."

Try not to worry.

"If you use up all your worry today what will you have tomorrow?"

"Don't worry... Compassion Fatigue should be setting in any minute now..."

"Four More Years!"

"The media don't manipulate the news!"

'Covid airborne'.

Baby In Trouble

"My goodness! Do we have to rob old ladies again in our old days?"

"These video games are way too violent! That's the evening news."

'We made it! We're on the most wanted list!'

"I know the news is bad - you don't have to whack me with it!"

'Vive le indifference!'

Hostage Taker on the Loose!

'Whoa! - You'll never guess who just got assassinated!'

"The president today urged Americans to spend more and get into debt more..."

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

'They say most accidents happen in your home.'

"Like many Americans, I allowed myself to believe the mainstream media’s distorted, dystopian portrait of President Trump. I no longer hold this belief..."

"I wish Donald Rumsfeld had a hobby."

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

Print Media

Annual Slime Removal

The Shell Game

Phony Express

The Remote Olympics

2020 Election Predictions

"See what we missed. . .? I told you that we should have gone to church yesterday!!"

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

"Not only are the criminal charges against me politically motivated, but the political charges against me are criminally motivated."

Gary Lineker Twitter Row with the BBC