Newsie Aficionado Pillows

Stalk of Newspaper Vendors

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Trump pardons

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Who's got the hammer?"

UK border controls relaxed.

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Oligarchy

"Away with the warmonger!"

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

The economy.