Nostalgic Novelty Collector Gifts

'Someday, Thelma, Lou, I'll figger out a way to buy you as many of those as you want!'

"Look! They have a Quinceanera Carlie doll! How authentic!"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Clown on bike.

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

The original paperless office

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Hay Rides $10

Early Colour TV

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Pre-Television Man Caves

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

Lavatory Waterfall

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

JET (Part I)

Jack in the Box

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"Nostalgia is one helluva drug."

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"Perhaps you're right. Maybe we should upgrade our computer system."

They were long past their canine pasts, but the rare stamp brought out the beast in them.