Nonsense Admirers Gifts

Alice in Wonderland - Duchess Nursing a Baby

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

Optimist

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Zoo: No Hunting.

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

....And there is the wood a piggy-wig stood, with a ring at the end of his nose.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

'I used to equate life and art -- then I married Art.'

Department of Belly Buttons - Innies/Outies Tray

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

101 uses of a dead cat: rocking horse

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel...let down your hair ball."

"....At least we don't have to put quarters in this hot tub."

Giant sandwich bags.

Aliens watch movie featuring human invaders.

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"