Ignorance Aficionados Gifts

TV, 'It's a new Rupert Murdoch production -- the 'Things You're Better Off Not Knowing' channel.'

Tourists and their Pets.

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

World Championship Mime-Off -'HEYYY! He's in a REAL box!!'

"Returns"

"Abra-Viagra."

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"I think it is most admirable," said Alice, "that you gave up a thriving law practice to be with this lovely child."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

"I don't know how to say this but I've found someone else."

The Great Banzinni discovers the oldest trick in the book.

'Bravo Professor, you stumbled upon the one fact that makes sense of it all. Unfortunately humanity is not permitted to know that the Universe was designed by a committee of ducks.'

Through the Looking Glass-King's Messenger in Prison

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

"Mmm... our situation reminds me of an Edward Lear poem..."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather eat this not knowing what the latest science suggests."

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"Don't you just love them when they're that age?"

'We're screwed. Three Flashing Furillos eloped with Tribada Trio!'

Little Things

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"I made a nice zucchini bread."

'Now we'll try some word association.', 'Fling dorp snoogle!'

"Mr. Hazlett is in conference right now. Would you care to see his evil twin?"

"There you are. I've been looking all over for you."

Bookie by Merry-Go-Round.