Nonsense Appreciator Gifts

Secateurs and non-secateurs

Alice in Wonderland - Farmer William

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.

Ego Publishing: 'I'm sorry, but 'Slither A Mile In My Shoes' doesn't make any sense...'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

'Oh Hi!'

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Steamed vegetables."

Barcode Dreams

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"Amateurs."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Russia Money Laundering

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"