Absurdist Appreciator Gifts

Godot Bound And Gagged In A Dark Office

'As you haven't left the house in weeks, I'm having you arrested.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

Balloon head on a pin body

"I didn't realise something like this could happen in Milton Keynes."

"Right there in the caf�, Neal decided he could really murder..."

'I get a lot of job offers..'

"Weird day"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

'Oh Hi!'

"Steamed vegetables."

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

Barcode Dreams

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Optimist

"Good news. It's a small pig."

Zoo: No Hunting.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Amateurs."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."