Non-smoker Gifts

'I just assumed you'd have a non-smoking section.'

'I'm afraid physics cannot explain why cigarette smoke always blows toward the non-smoker...'

"Do you have a 'non-political talk' section?"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Professional woman in pub

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'Oi! '

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

'...And maybe they know something about passive smoking you don't.'

'At midnight we want to move to the non-smoking section so my husband can keep his New Year's resolution.'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

Man offers coffee with smoke.

'Not only is smoking permitted, we insist on it!'

'He knew he was hyte when his last locofoco seemed gynecoid.'

Man going out for a cigarette from a lighthouse.

"Two non-fat lattes and a decaf flat white, please."

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

'Hey, pal - got a light?'

'He huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the house in. Obviously a non-smoker.'

"Poor sod, never a fag in his live, big C got him just the same."

'There's something about beig locked up with a 500-pound gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time'

Visit the Antarctic: The world's last free smoking zone!

"It's alright. Just let me know where I can get them."

"More nicotine."

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"

She wants me to quit smoking PLUS start exercising to boot?

'Space is the only place I can escape criticism when I smoke my daily cigar.'

'I think we'll pass on having wine with dinner, but thanks for the ashtray.'

The Huddle Around the Front Door in the Cold NonSmokers' Club Noon T-TH.

"I tried self-hypnosis to quit smoking. Unfortunately, I have no memory of it."

'I represent a broad-based coalition of anti-pipe interests....'

Hoskins was invited to take part in the nicorette patch of peace ceremony

Putting your cigarettes out of sight can reduce the urge to smoke.

'Passive smoking is bad for your health, which is why you got sued by fourteen spiders and eight mice. From now on, you're not allowed to smoke in your cellar.'