Non-smoker T-Shirts

'I just assumed you'd have a non-smoking section.'

'I'm afraid physics cannot explain why cigarette smoke always blows toward the non-smoker...'

"Do you have a 'non-political talk' section?"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Professional woman in pub

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'Oi! '

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

'...And maybe they know something about passive smoking you don't.'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'At midnight we want to move to the non-smoking section so my husband can keep his New Year's resolution.'

Man offers coffee with smoke.

'Not only is smoking permitted, we insist on it!'

'He knew he was hyte when his last locofoco seemed gynecoid.'

Man going out for a cigarette from a lighthouse.

"Two non-fat lattes and a decaf flat white, please."

'Hey, pal - got a light?'

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

"More nicotine."

Visit the Antarctic: The world's last free smoking zone!

She wants me to quit smoking PLUS start exercising to boot?

'I think we'll pass on having wine with dinner, but thanks for the ashtray.'

'He huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the house in. Obviously a non-smoker.'

"Poor sod, never a fag in his live, big C got him just the same."

'There's something about beig locked up with a 500-pound gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time'

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"

"It's alright. Just let me know where I can get them."

'Space is the only place I can escape criticism when I smoke my daily cigar.'

The Huddle Around the Front Door in the Cold NonSmokers' Club Noon T-TH.

'I represent a broad-based coalition of anti-pipe interests....'

Hoskins was invited to take part in the nicorette patch of peace ceremony

"I tried self-hypnosis to quit smoking. Unfortunately, I have no memory of it."

Putting your cigarettes out of sight can reduce the urge to smoke.

'Passive smoking is bad for your health, which is why you got sued by fourteen spiders and eight mice. From now on, you're not allowed to smoke in your cellar.'