Non-adventurers Gifts

Non-Travellers' Tales

The Map of the human brain

Transylvanian backpackers.

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

Empty Nester Apple Picking - "Not THAT one, you idiot!"

'I'm not sure my heart could take the excitement.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'Quite nice here, when the tide goes out.'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

Punk Angel

Desert Island Raking

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

Man in a raft with a balloon animal.

"What the ... this is rootbeer."

'This is the spot I was telling you about.'

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

"My dear, may I suggest a little old-fashioned biofeedback, some acupuncture, and a dollop of nutrition counselling?"

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

'These blinders help block out banner ads.'

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

'Big deal! I've already seen this on TV!'

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I'm having second thoughts on fish for dinner."

"Nice curvature."

Suddenly Fluffy heard a strange, enchanting sound...Could this be the Call of the Wild?

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

"There are easier ways to get time to yourself, Ed."

Hi, Frank. Did you and Francine take a vacation? We went on a tour of middle earth! It was the trip of a lifetime. Middle earth? Wow! Do you have any pictures? Yeah, here they are. We were Frodo-bombed in every one.

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

Lazy Mountain Climber.

"We're gonna find a bees nest and steal all their honey!" "Maybe we'll just go to Tesco's..."

'Nice catch, idiot!'