Noble Foodie Gifts

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

Domestic Goddess.

Soup of the month.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Roadkill Restaurant

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

Duchess

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

" 'Chicken Vindaloo for the Hindu Soul' is but the tip of the iceberg in our initial strategy of global expansion."

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

Salad Hat

cayetana de alba

The Duke of Earl meets the Earl of Duke:''Hey, baby, wot's happenin'!' 'Charmed!'

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

'It needs more barrel again, and believe me, I know - I used to be one.'

this place got five stars for its fresh food

Drive-Thru Fondue

'Don't you have American processed cheese food in a can?'

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

When seasons collide

Master Chef

"What's upscale today, Joey?"