Foodie Extraordinaire Gifts

"Not just a wheel, Trog, but a wheel of aged Parmigiano Reggiano!"

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

Gentrification of the fridge

"Ciel! Supergastronome!"

'Resveratrol? Flavonoids? Phenolic compounds? Whatever happened to asking about the grape type and origin?'

Soup

This is a classic dish, that I've pulled apart, then reconstructed.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Free meal.' 'Because you're the first customer to come back.'

'Milk, butter, cheese, ice cream...you have too much lactose tolerance.'

'I can't stand fast food - so I think I'll have escargot!'

"The food and wine are incompatible - so something's got to go."

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

Domestic Goddess.

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

"I'm sorry you can't speak with her, the poor soul never gets out of the kitchen."

"We offer casual fine dining...so your pan-seared squabs with foie gras will be served in a bucket."

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

food photos on social media

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

Tiered cheese

'Fortunately I know how to make a napoles salad but it'll cost you 14.95.'

Chicken A La King

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

Under new management

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Master Chef

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'This coffee-flavor trend is getting out of hand.'

Alison's appetite was legendary.....

"Yams, pie, stuffing, pumpkin, bean casserole, biscuits, corn, cranberry sauce, carrots, mashed potatoes...where's the turkey?"

'Please listen carefully as our menu has changed. To order a chicken entree...'